Saturday, December 19, 2015

Training Guide for Dogs

Training Guide for Dogs

Suppose you want a treat but your human is frantically trying to get his work done thus not paying attention to your usual manipulations. (Oh, did you think this was a guide for how to train dogs? No, no, no, silly human. It's a training guide for dogs to train their humans) Here’s the one trick THEY don’t want you to know: 

Go stand by the door and whine like you have to go to the bathroom. Your human will have to get up cuz he thinks otherwise you’ll pee in the house. (You already did but he didn’t catch you, lol!). 

Next he’ll let you out, you pee a little to make it look like you had to go then run right back into the house. As you come back in, run over to the treats cupboard and do whatever your usual manipulative behavior is. Your human’s concentration is already broken at this point so he’ll give in and give you a treat just to get you to stop.

In testing this technique I discovered that using it every 5 minutes doesn’t work so well because after a while, the human catches on. Who pees every 5 min? AmIright? For best results I recommend using this trick no more than about every an hour or so. After an hour they’re more likely to believe that you actually have to pee.

For more advice on how to train your human, please submit requests to this blog,


This is how to get treats!

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